you're a mystery yourself

Saturday, November 14, 2009

4:26 AM

It felt wonderful in the darkness.

Quiet. Cooling. No one could see me. Neither could I see them. Now I would calm down. No more voices. No more telling me what I should do, what I should not do, what I must do, what I must not do.

Confusion whirling in my mind, distorted images and painful emotions threatened to surge again. Tears fell from sorrowful eyes, hurting her with each droplet that was fallen, despair pumped through so hard that her heart felt as though it was going to explode.

Darkness comforted her, but it brought upon loneliness and memories too.

Despair, sadness, sorrow, and anger. Combined and haunting her. Strong raw emotions drained away life in her, the once bright and cheerful smile left her. Drowning herself in a storm of chaotic feelings, could no longer stand the torture. With last hope, she prayed. Pouring all her hopes, fears, sorrow, anger, guilt into this prayer. She called upon her God to save her from insanity, from the darkness that was eating her alive from within.

She thought He was never there for her, she thought she was alone all the time. She felt like there was nothing in the world could helped her. She made lots of wrong choices, made herself all sad and guilty. No one else could help her. Nothing. Everything was her fault. She felt utterly unlovable, worthless and useless. But she prayed.

She had forgot how wonderful to feel assured and safe in her Father's protection. How blissful she felt in her Father's love. That how merciful, lovely, forgiving her Father is. She forgot that all sheep belonged to The Shepherd. God would help her.

And she prayed hard even though the pain was hurting her and despair was pulling her away from her Father. She asked for help and poured out her heart to Him. This fight was won and she remained comforted with the knowledge that she was been taken care of. She was never alone.

With tears again but this time, the tears of joy and soothing. Hopes were given to her and now she waited in anticipation excitedly with a smile.

&the beauty.

I'm a thinker, a survivor, a winner =)

Put what you LOVE and HATE here.

love~ cats, trees, moonlight, night breeze, sea breeze, sunset, stories n books, reading, coffee, morning air, purple, black, gold, blue, turquoise...

hates~ impolite people, inconsiderate people, DIRTY TOILETS, unwanted attentions, sour plum n stress...

new wallet * a vacation * diploma in psychology * a new love * new clothes * new fragrance

mE
aH jIaO
aH mEi
dIdI
aH bAo
aH mEi'S DBSK
sUeT sUeT

November 2009
September 2010
October 2010

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